Walk With Your Worry - 5 Ways to Make Stress Your Friend
I’ve been coaching a lot around stress lately. Stress is a paradox. A little stress helps us to quickly focus, sharpens memory and solves problems. Too much stress and we can’t concentrate and lose perspective.
Chronic stress is bad for our mental, emotional and physical well-being. When the mind operate in a constant state of overwhelm and anxiety the brain goes into “fight, flight freeze” response. The brain shouts, “Danger! Pay Attention!” Stress hormones flood our system. Neural pathways constrict, limiting our ability to see alternatives, consider new approaches and re-frame our state of mind. With each additional stress event (COVID, weather events, business downturns, family crisis, community upheaval, etc. etc.!) we begin to lose brain volume in the pre-frontal cortex, limiting our capacity for empathy and impulse control.
What can you do in the short-term? Re-frame your relationship to stress. Stress is the body and mind doing what they were designed to do: protect us from harm. Begin by recognizing when stress shows up and meeting it with coping strategies.
1. When we’re too withdrawn from life and lack ambition, stress can be a wake-up call. Do you need to step up your goals? Focus on self-development? Put a business or financial plan in place? Ask and answer, “Where am I now? Where do I want to be? What are the essential next steps to get to my goals?”
2. Waking up in the middle of the night? Your early-warning system is telling you something is out of balance. Disrupted sleep patterns, loss of appetite and body aches are your body’s way of telling you to address something you’ve been ignoring or putting off. Ask yourself what you need, and listen to the answer. Sit in a location you don’t normally sit. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in for four counts and out for four counts. Allow your thoughts to flow. The thoughts that visit you are the aspects of your life that may need better balance.
3. Take a Worry-Walk. When stress hijacks your thoughts, instead of trying to suppress and subdue it, get up and take a walk around the block. Limit your walk to 20 - 30 minutes. Welcome the worried thoughts into your mind. Don’t try to solve every problem that surfaces. Get to know what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it. Practice “self-empathy” and self-compassion by recognizing that worry and stress are natural signals giving you important messages. Walk with the worry and see where it takes you.
4. Help others with their stress. As I wrote this article for you (my reader), I started to recognize and validate my own worries in the process. Buried stress was asking to be seen. I had a “Well, duh!” face-palm moment when I realized recent physical nerve pain manifested the exact same time as worries over loved ones suffering with severe COVID complications. It’s natural to want to withdraw, hibernate and protect ourselves from overwhelming concerns. But I found that talking, writing and trying to help others with their stress gave me insight into my own emotions.
5. Make stress your friend. The more you understand the science of stress, the more you’ll effectively tolerate it and learn the lessons it’s giving you. Standford psychologist Kelly McGonigal tells us embracing stress can make us stronger. Learn more in her book, How to Make Stress Your Friend
In closing, recognize that everything has its season – including stress. Winter serves its purpose and so do difficulties, anxieties and uncertainties. Just like taking a cold and dark winter walk, we need to walk with difficult emotions for a time.
The EQ-i self-assessment gauges your current level of stress tolerance and provides strategies for greater emotional balance. Contact me to learn more about this powerful tool mental and emotional tool. susan@theeicoach.com