The Relationship Between Emotional Intelligence and a Happy Marriage

Does your level of EQ impact how satisfied you are in your marriage? To find out, PH.D. Steven J. Stein and M.D. Howard E. Brook conducted research on behalf of Multihealth Systems to better understand the connection between emotional intelligence and marriage satisfaction.

They administered the EQ-i emotional and social intelligence assessment to more than 1,000 people and asked them to rate themselves in this regard. People who were satisfied with their relationship scored an average 5 points higher in EQ than those were not. Differences were found across all five realms of emotional intelligence (self-regard, emotional expression, relationships, decision making and stress management). Of all the attributes the EQ-i assessment measures, which do you think played the greatest role in determining whether someone was happy in their marriage? Not empathy, not flexibility or interpersonal skills.Happiness. A person's happiness was the greatest determining factor with self-regard, self-awareness, self-actualization and reality testing following as the top five. Only then did interpersonal relationships show up as an influence.

The take-a-way? Relationship happiness starts with you. According to Stein and Book, "We think that happiness is key, because people who score high in this component tend to be happy in a wide variety of situations, throughout good times and bad."

So how do we increase our happiness? To paraphrase Steven Covey, lasting happiness comes from the inside out. Studies have shown that getting outside and enjoying nature's splendor, having a sense of humor, enjoying the moment and practicing gratitude can raise our level of happiness.

So before you go home and have that romantic, candle-light dinner, take a walk outside, go for a hike and notice the changing season. Better yet, take that walk with someone you love.

Want to know what your happiness score is? Contact The Ei Coach to take your own EQ-i self-assessment. susan@theeicoach.com www.theeicoach.com